Aggression in general is behavior with the intention to harm another person. But it goes beyond that. When considering acts of aggression, it is important to examine not just the aggressor’s intentions but also if the victim perceives it to be harmful—and if the community considers it aggressive.
For example, if you are looking at kids who are having a pillow fight on top of a bed but then suddenly one child falls off the bed and starts crying. 1. Are they hurt? Yes. 2. Was this physical aggression? No, the child did not intend to harm the child on purpose.
Being “aggressive” refers to a personality trait or tendency to engage in aggressive behaviors. It describes someone who may be prone to anger, hostility, and/or violent behavior. They often do engage in acts that cause harm to others through intimidation and bullying
However, sports coaches also use the phrase “be aggressive” to mean assertive behavior. This is where the player will play within the rules of the sport but without the intent to harm the other player. Players may use instrumental aggression to achieve the goals of the game. For example, to make a basket in basketball or score a touchdown in football. Some sports psychologists agree that this can improve performance. Experienced athletes understand the difference between aggression that is used to harm (hostile aggression) and to achieve a goal (instrumental aggression) and they are able to use self-control to achieve positive outcomes.
We are going to focus on aggression as a negative psychological characteristic that leads to negative behavior in children.
There are 3 different types of aggression, including direct and indirect ways of causing harm to another person.
- Physical aggression: physically harming someone through violence or force.
- Verbal aggression: harming someone through hostile or insulting language.
- Relational aggression: damaging someone’s relationships or social standing through purposeful exclusion or spreading rumors.
The tone, volume, and language we use can also convey aggression. For example, a loud, harsh tone of voice can make verbal aggression more intimidating and frightening for the victim. According to Mel Robbins, a communication expert, “How you say something matters as much as what you say.” The way we deliver a message also impacts how it is received and interpreted.