As parents, we want our children to grow up to be kind, caring, and compassionate individuals. However, aggression and conflict are a natural part of human behavior, and children are no exception. While boys are often seen as more aggressive than girls, recent research suggests that gender differences in aggression are more complex than previously thought. Let’s explore the various types of aggression among children, how they differ by gender, and what parents can do to support their children’s social and emotional health.
Physical Aggression:
Physical aggression is often more common in boys than girls. Boys are more likely to engage in hitting, pushing, and other forms of physical violence. On the other hand, non-physical antisocial behavior such as lying, cheating, and stealing are more common in boys too. Boys are twice as likely to violate the rights of others and to retaliate after being attacked, compared to girls who are more likely to use indirect means like excluding peers and ignoring them.
Relational Aggression:
Girls, on the other hand, are more likely to use relational aggression than physical or verbal aggression. Relational aggression involves hurting others through social exclusion, spreading rumors, or manipulating friendships. Both boys and girls use relational aggression, which can lead to decreases in friendship quality and even contribute to anxiety, depression, and delinquency. Girls often engage in relational aggression to maintain their social status, while boys use it as a way to take risks and test their physical limits.
While it may be tempting to think of aggression as a “boy’s problem,” it’s important to recognize that both boys and girls can be aggressive in their own ways. Parents must understand the different types of aggression and their underlying causes to help their children engage in healthy social behaviors. For example, if your daughter is experiencing relational aggression from her peers, you might encourage her to find new friends to expand her social circle.
What Can Parents Do?
So what can parents do to support their children’s social and emotional health? First, parents must model healthy communication and conflict-resolution skills. The research reveals that many children use physical or relational aggression because they have experienced it at home from their own parents. Teach your children to use “I” messages instead of blame and encourage them to express their feelings without fear of judgment. Second, provide your children with a safe and supportive environment where they can express themselves freely and learn to manage conflicts constructively. Finally, help your children build empathy and understanding towards others through volunteering or other community activities.
Gender differences in aggression are more complex than previously thought, and both boys and girls can exhibit aggressive behavior in their own ways. Parents must understand the various types of aggression and their underlying causes to support their children’s social and emotional health. By modeling healthy communication skills, providing a supportive environment, and encouraging empathy, parents can help their children grow up to be kind, compassionate, and emotionally intelligent individuals.